We’re looking for your help in creating the newsletter of our dreams for our collective — want to help?

🖋️ We’re looking to include your voices and the full range of the death work moves in you: maybe it’s a piece of reporting on something in the news, a bit of memoir, a reflection, a poem, a photograph, or something else. We’re happy to work with you to shape what you have, and are open to a world of possibilities for what we might include here. 

🗓️ We’re also looking to include member events here and on our calendar. Don’t forget to send them our way.

🏆 And finally: if something good happened — a milestone, a completion, a small victory, a piece of news you're proud of — let us know, and let us celebrate you! Send along your name, location, and 150 words or less about your win, big or small.

E-mail us with any of the above 😊

Not a member yet but want to become one? Head on over to our website to learn more.

✨Mortality Moments: Reflections on The Nine Contemplations of Death by Atisha✨

by Death Doula Jas, DCDC Supporting Member

Most of us, (if we haven’t already) will eventually prepare for someone else’s death. We may sit beside a hospital bed, arrange a funeral, sort through belongings, or just endure the process of grieving someone or something we have loved. Yet rarely do most of us plan and prepare for our own deaths.  Rarely do we integrate the reality that we might go first, and that it could be our loved ones figuring out our insurance policies and what to do with our stamp collection. How often have you thought about the intricacies of your own dying? 

The first time I viscerally meditated on the nuances of my own death, I was lying on a yoga mat in a dimly lit room with 40 other people completing my death-doula certification program. Processing the death of family members and friends, plus many years of working in mental health, grief, and trauma integration, had primed me to genuinely believe that I had “dealt with” my hang-ups, biases, and fears around mortality. It was an unexpected reality check, when we were guided through a meditation focusing on The Nine Contemplations of Death, and all my training, confidence, and perceived security around this topic promptly fell apart.

The Nine Contemplations of Death, attributed to the Buddhist teacher and philosopher Atisha, are nine statements that plainly state some hard truths about death. They are below:

1. Death is inevitable. (No person and no thing is exempt)

2. Our lifespan is continuously decreasing. (Each breath brings you closer to death)

3. Death will come whether we are prepared or not. (Death is not bound to your plans)

4. Life expectancy is uncertain. (Death can come at any time and in any place)

5. Death has many causes. (Illness, accidents, acts of nature, habits, desires, and circumstances can all precipitate death).

6. The human body is fragile and vulnerable. (Our lives hang by a breath).

7. Material resources are of no use at the time of death. (Our possessions and accomplishments cannot save us)

8. Our loved ones cannot prevent our death. (Those that love us cannot delay or intervene when death has arrived)

9. Our bodies cannot help at the time of death. (The body itself, will to be a participant in our death)

All the statements are obvious and straightforward enough but having an intellectual understanding of a concept is very different than emotional, intimate understanding. It was brutal. And I cried inconsolably throughout the entire thing. However, once I gathered myself, I was able to see that one of the gifts of a death meditation practice that focuses on your own mortality, is that it removes the perceived distance of death. It brings it up close and personal, confronting one of our deepest-seated fears as humans – that death comes for us all, whether we are prepared for it or not.

Suddenly, death is no longer something happening to other people, in another family, in some tragedy elsewhere in the world; it is our death and it’s impact that we are focusing on. Who will sort through your belongings, house your pets, or figure out your passwords if you died unexpectedly? Suddenly, death becomes a mirror, revealing (sometimes deeply uncomfortable) truths about how committed we are to living. It asks if the life we are currently living is one we would be at peace dying from? 

When we stop pretending that we have unlimited time, our choices become clearer. Our conversations become more honest and our relationships more intentional. Facing death expands our relationship to life.  It invites us to authentically mourn what has been lost, acknowledge the helplessness of what cannot be controlled, and recognize what is still asking to be lived.

So, if you’re curious about starting your own mortality journey, I would suggest pacing yourself, getting grounded, and brace for the guaranteed discomfort of getting honest with yourself about what your life (and death) means to you. YouTube also has plenty of free meditations around The Nine Contemplations and other death meditation to explore. Death is coming for us all, so for our sake, and the sake of those that love us (and may have to sort through our shit), let us try and be prepared. Even if it’s just a little bit. 

Death Doula Jas is a deathcare doula and community servant whose work centers on navigating grief in all its stages and death in all its forms. More information about Jas can be found here.

✨A MEMBER OFFERING✨

Supporting member Lillie J. Harris is offering three complimentary in-person death/grief art-making sessions for individuals who reside in the DMV and are willing to provide thorough feedback on their experience within 14 days of the session.

These sessions are designed to offer creative release and death doula support to three participants, while also giving Lillie's organization, Collaborative Catharsis, valuable insight as they continue to refine their death awareness and visual art services.

If this sounds like something you or someone you know would be interested in, head on over to the sign-up form!

✨UPCOMING CALENDAR✨

The list below highlights supporting member events and DCDC events. For our full, more broad-reaching community calendar, head on over to our website.

 MULTIPLE DEATH CAFÉ LOCATIONS

💛 UUCA, Arlington | September 23rd; October 28th; November 18th | 6:30PM-8:00PM 📍Unitarian Universalist Church of Arlington (UUCA), 4444 Arlington Boulevard, Arlington, VA. Led by Kristen P. Patterson, long-time UUCA member. For more info, please reach out at 703-829-9615 or by email.

💛 Beloved Yoga + Wellness| Wednesday, October 7th; Wednesday, November, 4th; Wednesday, December 2nd, 2026; January 6th, 2027| 7:00 PM–8:00 PM 📍11109 Sunset Hills Road Reston, VA. Hosted by DCDC supporting member, Kristina Davies. You can find more information here.

💛 All Souls Unitarian Church | October 11th; November 1st; December 6th, 2026| 12:10 PM–1:30 PM 📍 1500 Harvard Street NW. Join DCDC co-chair Leslie Tolf for a monthly cafe gathering. You can find more information here. 

💛 Conversations Over Cake | Thursday, October 22nd, 2026 | 6:00PM-7:30PM 📍 Arlington Courthouse Library, 2100 Clarendon Boulevard, Arlington, VA. Join us for tea, cake, and talks of our mortal coil in a beautiful setting. More information can be found here. Hosted by DCDC supporting member Stephanie Dillemuth. 

💛 Linthicum Library | Tuesday, October 27th, 2026 | 6:00PM-7:00PM 📍400 Shipley Road, Linthicum Heights, Maryland, 21090. RSVP to supporting member Jamie Arthurs.

💛 Legacy Letter Workshop| Sunday, September 20th 7:00 PM-8:30 PM| 📍Virtual | Register

Do you want to write your own Legacy Letter? Join this virtual workshop to craft one! Through reflective questions, you will distill your memories, values, favorite rituals, and lessons learned into a letter that you can pass on to your loved ones. Hosted by DCDC supporting member and death doula Kristen P. Patterson of Sacred Journey Death Doula. 

💛 Demystify Death Nature Walk| Sunday, October 25th, 2:30 PM-4:00 PM; Sunday, November 1st, 3:00PM-4:30PM  | 📍Glencarlyn Park, 401 S. Harrison St. Arlington, VA 22204 | Register

Join a small group for an intimate walk in nature where we will connect the seasons of our lives with the seasons of nature. We will contemplate our mortality through mindful observation of the natural world and gentle reflections, opening our hearts to wonder and joy. Hosted by DCDC member and Arlington-based death doula Kristen P. Patterson of Sacred Journey Death Doula.

💛 Bones & Scones: A Supporting Member Brunch Event| Saturday, December 12, 2026 | 11:00 PM - 2:00 PM 📍 Members RSVP for location

Join DCDC volunteers and supporting members at our end-of-year potluck brunch! If you could choose your last meal, what would it be? In the spirit of our collective mortality, we invite you to join us and bring the dish that you’ll be thinking about on your deathbed — and the story behind it. Become a member by visiting our website.

✨REASONS OUR MEMBERS ARE CELEBRATING✨

🌱 “I’m feeling proud that I just threw a rip-roaring bash to celebrate my dad’s life and legacy, as this fall is the five-year anniversary of his death. My dad was a wickedly talented guitar player, so I had everyone contribute to a collaborative playlist (with songs that he would play or songs that reminded folks of him) which we played during the party. My dad was also in a band with his brother and brother-in-law, so they performed — and my brother subbed in for my dad. It was one of the most heart-warming days of my life. We danced, we hugged, cried, and laughed in the biggest ways.” -Ali Brill

🌱 Laura Lyster-Mensh reports that she has visited 25 cemeteries this year (that’s 359,118 former Washingtonians!) with 17 DCDC community members and family members in her quest to visit all the cemeteries in 2026, which she journals about on Sandwiches and Cemeteries.

🌱 Robin Miniter is doing two things that she’s long dreamed of: working as a funeral assistant and getting her certified nursing assistant license. She’s straddling that very thin line between serving the dying and serving the dead, and is feeling grateful for every minute of it.